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Friday, July 17, 2009

Haven't posted in a while...

Been battling a bit of depression lately.. yes.. yes.. again.. I go on this stupid spurts of "what my life would have been like" and "why am I such a failure" and "can't anything go right?" syndrome that goes on to I'm sure everyone on the friggin' planet. I can't even blame it on being couped up in the apartment during winter (because it gets back during winter...).

Still sucks though.. My friend have been really helping me out though. They are always the positive reinforcement I need to keep myself from going insane. Latest thing was to take me to the beach and let me walk around in the sun and sand. (of course I broke out into hives.. I keep forgetting I get a reaction from too much sun.. but I didn't find it until I got home and it's been fine ever since).

Still it bothers me why I keep going into these cycles of depression... Just wish I'd remember what I DO have instead of wallowing in what I don't. I'm tired of feeling that I'm somehow a palm tree out in the middle of nowhere surrounded by snow.. Totally out of place and isolated.. /sigh.. I'll get out of this one way or the other.

When looking at Google images while searching for pics for this blog (you know me.. I have to be OCD about posting pictures with blogs..) I ran into Footprints. I need to read that more often .. Maybe it'll snap me back to reality sooner.